News From The Bottom Of The Barrel May 2nd

Pasadena California

A 22-year-old guy named Jose Cruz in Pasadena, California was drunk and hungry for some Doritos around 3:15 A.M. last Saturday.

So . . . instead of going to the local circle K….

He broke into a Taco Bell and ate 10 SHELLS for their Doritos Locos tacos.

By the time the cops got to the Taco Bell, he was gone . . . but about four hours later, he wandered up to the police station and confessed.

He's facing one count of commercial burglary.

West Norriton Township, Pennsylvania 

There's a woman who lives in West Norriton Township, Pennsylvania who's been diagnosed with something called mechanophilia . . . a sexual attraction to VEHICLES. And it's very real.

Last week, apparently the traffic driving past the woman's house was just filled with too many SEXY CARS for her to handle . . . so she bolted out of her house and started running through traffic.

Someone called the cops, and when the cops got there, she was found  hugging and kissing Nissan Pathfinder,  and calling it "Husky Bear."

Fortunately she isn't facing any charges for her little run through town.

Tim Ben & Brooke

Tim Ben & Brooke

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